You learn from an early age the power words have over others, so just imagine the power you have when you speak to your child — the little person that's relying on you for absolutely everything. When you speak to them negatively, when you tell them they're being destructive or loud, when you shout at them to leave you alone, you're telling them one thing — that they don't matter. Kids can be influenced very easily. It won't take many times of you telling them that they are annoying before they start to believe that they are a nuisance their own mother can't handle. Certain phrases tear your children down instead of building them up and can have serious consequences for their self-esteem and confidence.
No one's saying you have to over-praise your child and tell them they are perfect, but you should use positive language, even when scolding, and remember that no matter how short your fuse is, they are children. They can't take the heat you're doling out like adults can and, whether you agree or not, you don't have a right to let your frustrations out on them. We all make mistakes, but take care not to say these 13 things to your child and keep their little hearts and minds on your own.
1. "Stop Crying."
If your child is crying, then they are upset. Sure, it's frustrating that the reason they're crying is because you gave them the exact snack they asked for, but kids are kids. How many times have you, as an adult, burst into tears over nothing? Telling your children to stop crying is telling them that the way they process their emotions is not OK.
2 "Just Let Me Do It."
Watching your 3-year-old try to zip his own jacket with mittens on is hard, I know. Especially when they are insistent on doing it on their own. But the phrase "just let me do it" can be damaged. Instead, ask them if they need help or ask if you can show them a trick to make it easier.
3 "I Don't Like You Right Now."
Kids are going to do some terrible things. They're going to make giant messes, they're going to throw tantrums, they're going to act out when you ask them to do something — it's all normal. And sure, there will come a point when you think, “I don't even like my own kid right now.” But you can't say that to your little mini-me. Instead, tell them you don't like the way they are acting or the way they are speaking.
4 "You Have No Reason To Be Upset."
