Thus, the maternal grandmother is often present during the most intimate moments: difficult nights, illnesses, questions about parenting, the child's first milestones. This repeated presence creates a natural bond with the baby.
Meanwhile, the paternal grandmother, although she may want to help, often enters the picture later or in a more formal way. Her visits may depend on invitations or prior arrangements. Over time, this initial difference transforms into an emotional reality: one grandmother becomes part of the daily routine, and the other part of special events.
The role of the father and the invisible decisions
Another important factor is the father's attitude. Many men, without meaning to, delegate family organization to their partner: visits, celebrations, decisions about support and contact with grandparents.
When a father doesn't actively encourage his own mother's presence, the relationship between the paternal grandmother and her grandchildren can weaken without anyone noticing. It's not outright rejection, but rather a series of silences, postponements, and a lack of initiative.
Over the years, what began as a small omission can turn into an emotional distance that is difficult to reverse.
The silent grief of losing the center stage
For many mothers, their son was the center of their life for years. When he starts his own family, the mother ceases to be the main female figure in his world.
This change can cause deep emotional wounds. Some grandmothers react by trying to regain relevance through constant advice, comparisons, or criticism about parenting. Although these actions stem from love, they can be interpreted by the child's mother as intrusion or judgment.
This is how subtle tensions begin that end up reducing visits, conversations, and closeness.
The impact of separation or divorce
When parents separate, the family structure changes drastically. The child spends more time with one parent, usually the mother, and with their usual support network.
If the father doesn't actively maintain contact between his children and his own family, the paternal grandmother may become excluded from the child's daily life. This doesn't always happen out of ill will. Sometimes it's simply the practical result of the new family arrangement.
